God Help Me, I Am Scared.

I'm really quite anxious as of late being that I've become sexually active with my boyfriend. Oh yes, I have a boyfriend now. The thing about it is that I'm being stupid, we've never dicussed diseases or anything, and I know that I am clean because I've never been with anybody else. But I do not know about him. My paranoia is telling me that he's holding that back from me for sake of keeping me around. We had one conversation once about it and he claimed to be clean, but anybody can say anything ... I could be superman if need be for the moment. So now I am faced with the fact that I took in a taste of his bodily fluids and I'm now in line for potential death if HIV is present and I am not clued in. I'd like to think that nothing is going on here, and I'll go on a whim and say that I am being really, really paranoid here. But I'm acting like an idiot not to use a condom when I give him head. So now I need to talk with him and make certain that he's not lying to me about anything. And if indeed there is anything to be iffy over .... I'll have to get tested. I should probably do it anyways being that I'm now embracing my sexual / sensual side. I just pray that we're both okay and that there is nothing to worry about of his "dark" past that he does not want to mention. Last night I nearly vomitted as I recieved a text from him saying "I need to tell you something" ... in my head I'm thinking that I was about to recieve my death threat in a text message. Luckily it was not. I really like this guy and I want to feel 100% around him, but as long as we dont have this one clear, I'll be forced to be afraid of him until otherwise settled down.