I can't believe it as I wake from a sleepless night.
The image of your eyes upon him, sure gave me a fright.
Oh what magic was in the air that halloween night.
Give me peace and tell me you care.
Give me love and promise me, you won't go anywhere.
Give me loyalty so that I can fully dive into this journey of love.
Last night I went to dinner with J****** and met up with my friend K*** at my job. Immediatley I somehow took notice to J****** changing tones quickly as K*** came in looking like a member of my chemical romance. I'm not blind, I can see when a man is intrigued by another. And while I tried not to let it get under my skin; the little things proved me right. There were times last night that I felt as though I was being pushed off by my own boyfriend so that he and K*** could joke around and play. And while I was probably too drunk, oh hell we were all pretty trashed by 1 a.m.; I felt somewhat upset and alone with the other two.
There we have a friend of mine and my boyfriend and ... my boyfriend is just going on and on about K***. By the end of the night as I walked him home it felt as though he was more concerned about how K*** got home, than of which how we were barely getting him home. I saw the way J****** would look at K*** everytime he'd say something new. And if I tried to kiss J*******, he'd hold back. This is major iffy behaviour, and I cannot help but feel somewhat at odds about it this morning. All that I want to do is care for J****** and share each other.
I can remember when I first met him, and he'd look at me that way. And though I know he still likes me, it also scares the fucking shit out of me to see him go gitty around another guy. And while he's always openly checking other guys out and in result making me feel insecure, I accept him for him, as long as he is loyal to my offering. I'm just -- confused about how he reacted to K*** last night, and I feel somewhat hurt. And I know that's probably coming from a very selfish place in me, for I should not require any boyfriend to only look at me and not admire the beauty of others. It's just that I am very unsure of man's capacity to committ to each other. Men cheat, men lust and men scare the crap out of me. I can honestly say, that from the day I met J******, I've not even taken a second look or tried to offer myself to any other man. And there have been offers. But I believe so strongly in holding a coupling as sacred, and nothing to tinker with.
So please be honest
if there is another boy than me
let my heart sink into a bottomless sea.
for that is where
my heart will be.
The image of your eyes upon him, sure gave me a fright.
Oh what magic was in the air that halloween night.
Give me peace and tell me you care.
Give me love and promise me, you won't go anywhere.
Give me loyalty so that I can fully dive into this journey of love.
Last night I went to dinner with J****** and met up with my friend K*** at my job. Immediatley I somehow took notice to J****** changing tones quickly as K*** came in looking like a member of my chemical romance. I'm not blind, I can see when a man is intrigued by another. And while I tried not to let it get under my skin; the little things proved me right. There were times last night that I felt as though I was being pushed off by my own boyfriend so that he and K*** could joke around and play. And while I was probably too drunk, oh hell we were all pretty trashed by 1 a.m.; I felt somewhat upset and alone with the other two.
There we have a friend of mine and my boyfriend and ... my boyfriend is just going on and on about K***. By the end of the night as I walked him home it felt as though he was more concerned about how K*** got home, than of which how we were barely getting him home. I saw the way J****** would look at K*** everytime he'd say something new. And if I tried to kiss J*******, he'd hold back. This is major iffy behaviour, and I cannot help but feel somewhat at odds about it this morning. All that I want to do is care for J****** and share each other.
I can remember when I first met him, and he'd look at me that way. And though I know he still likes me, it also scares the fucking shit out of me to see him go gitty around another guy. And while he's always openly checking other guys out and in result making me feel insecure, I accept him for him, as long as he is loyal to my offering. I'm just -- confused about how he reacted to K*** last night, and I feel somewhat hurt. And I know that's probably coming from a very selfish place in me, for I should not require any boyfriend to only look at me and not admire the beauty of others. It's just that I am very unsure of man's capacity to committ to each other. Men cheat, men lust and men scare the crap out of me. I can honestly say, that from the day I met J******, I've not even taken a second look or tried to offer myself to any other man. And there have been offers. But I believe so strongly in holding a coupling as sacred, and nothing to tinker with.
So please be honest
if there is another boy than me
let my heart sink into a bottomless sea.
for that is where
my heart will be.
1 comment:
hi, that image is hosted on my server. do you mind uploading it to your own? thank you so much.
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