I Miss Him.

I have not heard much from J****** as of late. From what he did tell me, he has been doing some work on himself which is fine. I just had no clue, I assumed that I had done something wrong. I miss him a lot and sometimes I am scared and embarrassed to express it because I don't want him to think that I am naggy and obsessive. But I do, I miss him a lot. I miss his kiss, his eyes, his voice, his arms, I miss his thoughts and his ideas and his hand which holds mine. God I just miss him. And as I slept alone on Thanksgiving I did have a great thanks for not being truly alone on this holiday. I've spent so many years wishing to have somebody to hold during the holidays. And now I do. And I am thankful for that, and I'm thankful for J****** for teaching me more about myself by simply examining my energy. So ... while I miss him, I know that he needs time alone and it's my position to respect him and support him in that. So I will. But God do I long to hold him in my arms and give him a kiss. To hear that sweet voice express his needs and desires. Arg I miss him.