Well that was nice. So nice that I think I've walked away with a crush. Or am I so desperate that I'm going crazy for a boy who's just nice back to a nice boy?. Ladies and gentleman please welcome the psycho side to my needy behaviour. Yes, this is the side of myself that is SO desperate for companionship and loyalty that he forms a mad crush on the first guy who's not an absolutle CREEP. And this guy just so happens to be beautiful inside and out.
So I'm going to have to check myself into some kind of therapy / counseling service in order to work through this stuff. I think I need one ... I really do. Because I don't want to be that jealous boyfriend who will kill the relationship before it ever takes off based on his own insecurities. So in short .... the only way to put an end to this all is to confront my own self and perhaps even come out the closet to those I am closest to. Yes it's a "life of sin", but I'm more ready now than ever to rid myself of being dodgy and odd. I dont want to treat a mate like a dog for sake of me feeling unworthy due to my own guilty conscience. I want to show someone my strengths and my support -- and maybe that's what will heal me, is showing effort. All that I know is, I've met this guy once and already -- I cant wait to see him again, and that concerns me because it makes me feel like a really lame / creepy person.
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