Tomorrow is Friday and all that I can say is get me to the fucking finish line NOW!. This week has been nothing but emotionally unstable, wreckable and disasterous. Now that everything seems to be in the clear with J******, tomorrow is his birthday and I'm wondering what to do for him. My Boss wrote me up yesterday without warning me of putting that policy into use, and threatened termination of employment if I do not make changes. On top of that I'm still recovering from the argument that Jonathan and I had over the week. Now I find myself having bits of free foating anxiety and panic attacks often. Offset by thoughts and memories. The truth is that J******* and I did not really resolve anything. We just sort of slept together and called it even. And that leaves me thinking, "Does he even like me anymore?". Because one of the last things he said to me before we diverted the conversation was "I dont see you the same way that I used to anymore, and it's going to take some time for me to like you again". So what's going on ?, and as I think about it, I get that burning feeling in my chest again like the death of a family member has just been reported to me. What is going to happen?. Why wont this burn heal?
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