March.

Happy New Year everybody !, This will mark my first post for 2008. I've got some high hopes out for 2008. It seems as though every year we hold high hopes for the new year; only to find out that they don't come true. One of the lessons that I am carrying from 2007 into the new year is that we have to create our own successful dreams. Action over idea would be the mantra that comes to my mind when I think about the process. We hold more power in our state of mind than in anything else. The birth of success begins within "Yes, and", this is a rule that I learned in my improv 1 class last year. The rule applies to a scene in which a player presents a situation, scenario or idea. As the fellow actor in the "scene", you are required to agree with with other players by agreeing to the situation and adding to it. So the same can be said for our goals in life.

Ideas and goals need follow up in order to be documented and created. My personal stance upon following up with anything in my life needs a lot of work. I put things off until the last minute and often times that leaves me standing at station "A" forever, I need to head over to station "B" and hopefully make it to "Z" by 2009. So what's the plan stan ?. No clue, but it should start with making a proper change toward happiness. I've been thinking about leaving my job now for a while and every day I feel stronger about the idea of getting out of the office for good. However there are a few things that I need to do before I depart. I will not leave this place before I have a new job lined up behind this one. I'm looking for an upgrade, something that has benefits as well. $12-15 per hourly wage would be great. I'll need full time in order to pay the bills and save a buck. I'll also need to know what I am doing, selling travel is not my thing - I've never been outside of the USA and frankly I've been made fun of for it in the office. I do not like my job anymore and it's becoming toxic to my happiness.

If I stay here beyond March and continue to put up with the daily bullshit that I deal with, I can honestly say that I will lose it. I no longer have respect for the people that I work for and with. These people have treated me like shit for the past year, with the exception of my friend who got me the job and my previous boss Mar***. I understand that this post has taken a turn for the worst, but something has happened within the last five minutes which I cannot fight over anymore. A moment of belittlement between a co worker and myself. Sometimes I simply want to smack that cunt. The main thing that I can say about working here is that I learned more about myself than I ever thought. I learned about my strengths and weaknesses. I proved to myself that I can "stick it out" through all of my own self doubt. I will rise above this job. If I can sic things out until March, I will resign and move forward and on from this torture.